How to know when to spread your wings
When to fly, when to furl, and how to strike a balance between the two
One of the signs of maturity - so I’ve heard - is being able to hold two seemingly competing positions at the same time.
I think we forget that two opposite things can be true. And in the forgetting, we sometimes stop ourselves from being brave.
Case in point:
I love my home. I love my family. I love cosying up in a self-created sanctuary in front of the fire, board games and books at the ready.
In this sweet, familiar comfort zone, I can forget that I also love to spread my wings in the big wide world. I can forget that being up on stage and sharing wisdom is *also* what I’m here to do.
So when I’m called to flee my familiar cave and (sometimes literally) step into the spotlight, I get physical symptoms of fear and mind chatter of rebellion.
As I pack and prepare, my fluttery tummy and thumping heart tell me it’s not safe. My flitting thoughts tell me I’d much rather stay home.
This lasts until the moment I change environments. As soon as I’m in the airport, on the plane, in the cab, at the venue or on the stage, I remember.
Oh yeah. THIS! THIS is GOOD!
In the past I’d linger too long with wings spread and I’d burn out, or I’d linger too long with wings furled and I’d feel dull.
Now, I know that I need both. That we all need both.
We need a comforting, familiar sanctuary in which we fill up our hearts and restore our nervous systems. We also need to fly from the coop to do our work in the world. And we need the right balance of both to feel sparky and sane.
How do you know when you’ve struck the right balance between flying and furling?
Being fearless doesn’t mean we’ve found balance. I’ve learned over the years that physical and mental symptoms of fear are par for the course: a sign that you’re expanding, and almost always a sign that you’re on your right path.
(Also, I once heard Elizabeth Gilbert say that the only people who don’t experience fear are three-year-olds and psychopaths. With this in mind, I’d rather experience fear than not).
Here’s what I’ve worked out:
You’ll know you’re ready to fly when - in spite of the fear - your body feels calm and your wings eager.
Coming up at dgm
Experience Metamorphosis - 1:1 Coaching
If you’re looking to spark real change with me alongside you as your coach, guide and, to quote a client, “a cross between a fairy godmother and a switched on psychologist”, four one-on-one coaching spots open up in July. You can expect warm, cut-through and uplifting coaching from me, and rapid, joyful and measurable transformation for you.
To give you a taste of what coaching feels like, another client shared:
“For a week after my first session with Gemma I felt like I was walking on a cloud of calm and peacefulness. Over a 5 month journey Gemma’s gift has been the gift of space and gentle questioning, enabling me to rediscover the best version of myself that I can be, the version I want to be. These were deep, profound conversations that felt light and hopeful. I did not anticipate that a coaching program to assist my career could also lead to a stronger marriage and deeper connection with my family and friends and most importantly myself.” - Rachel Groenhout
You can request my coaching pack by emailing my EA Kat at hello@drgemmamunro.com.
Become Limitless
I am in the enjoyable throes of developing a 30-day program called Limitless to help you break free from self-sabotage (we’ve all been there!). Designed especially for brilliant, high potential people who keep getting in their own way, Limitless launches this September. You can pop your name on the waitlist here.
‘Find the Courage to Shine’ & ‘Create Sparky Leaders’
In the last few months I have delivered these two topics as keynotes and masterclasses to over 1200 leaders across Australia. Book me for an event and/or request my speaking deck here.
Things that made my eyes sparkle & spine tingle
For Hamilton fans
Did you see the Hamilton 10th anniversary performance at the Tony Awards? Oh mio, oh myo, oh Cleveland Ohio*, it was euphoric! You can check out the replay on Paramount. If you’re not on Paramount you can watch a version recorded by an audience member on their phone here.
For fans of beautiful writing
I devoured two poetry anthologies: Megan Falley’s Drive Here and Devastate Me and Andrea Gibson’s You Better Be Lightning. And I’m halfway through savouring fellow Adelaide Hills dweller Hannah Kent’s masterpiece Always Home, Always Homesick.
For fans of great television
Holy hold-on-to-the-edge-of-your-seat, Batman (and holy handsome-Matthew-Goode, Robin) Dept Q on Netflix was incredible. Dark. Gripping. Amazing.
That’s it for now, bright ones. For those in my inner circle of paid subscribers, expect another clear the blockers masterclass in the next fortnight (you can catch up on the last one - The One Where We Beat Procrastination - here).
Big love,
Gemma
*Bonus points if you can name the show this quote comes from. A slice of cake for you if you can name the episode and season.